Designing Friendship with Jenn & Ken Visocky-O’Grady

Some friendships are casual. Others become essential. For nearly 20 years, Jenn and Ken Visocky-O’Grady have been part of our inner circle, the people we laugh with, travel with, raise kids alongside, and lean on when life shifts.

In this episode, we explore what makes a friendship last, even across states and differences. From their early days running a design studio while teaching, to raising their daughter Lulu as “onlys,” to navigating career pivots and family traditions, Jenn and Ken have lived a life by design, on purpose, together, and with friends who became more than friends.

This is a conversation about investing in people, building circles of trust, and why relationships don’t just happen, they’re made.

Takeaways & Talking Points:

How It Started Why two only children and a big, loud family clicked instantly, and the stories that still make us laugh from those first years.

Designing a Life What Jenn and Ken learned from running a studio and building academic careers, and why intention matters when you’re shaping both work and relationships.

Parenting Lulu The lessons (and surprises) of raising an only child, and how community filled the gaps biology couldn’t.

Across States and Differences The practical rhythms that keep long-distance friendship close, and why shared values outweigh shared lifestyles.

Traditions That Hold Vacations, group texts, and small rituals that keep nearly two decades of friendship strong.

Looking Ahead
How they think about legacy, support, and the next chapter as kids become adults and life keeps shifting.

Things We’re Learning (and Unlearning)

• Friendship isn’t found, it’s built.

• Consistency matters more than proximity.

• Big life pivots are easier with a circle at your back.

• Kids thrive when they feel surrounded, not just parented.

• Traditions carry weight, make some on purpose.

• Gratitude is what keeps long friendships alive.

Stats Worth Knowing

• 20% of U.S. adults are only children, and many build deep, lasting friendships.

• Couples who align careers report 40% higher life satisfaction.

• Children of only parents are 2.5x more likely to be onlys themselves, and thrive just as much.

• Friendships lasting 10+ years depend more on shared values than shared lifestyles.

• People who live with intention report nearly 2x higher life satisfaction.

At the end of the day, it’s the people who keep showing up that shape our story. Jenn and Ken have been those people for us, and we hope you have (or find) the same kind of friends in your own life. Send the text. Plan the dinner. Make the trip. Relationships don’t just last by accident. They last because we choose them, again and again. 

This episode is a reminder: don’t wait for the perfect moment. Reach out today.

Thanks for listening!

Justin & Sarah

PS: Check out the blog for Two Step-Dads Recipe

#RunningAhrens #FriendshipGoals #LifeByDesign #MarriageAndParenting #FamilyPodcast #FriendshipMatters #RelationshipsThatLast #ParentingAndLife #PodcastCommunity #RealConversations #MarriageAndFriendship

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Full House Again: Parenting Adult Kids While Finding Ourselves

EP. 12

A year ago, Justin and Sarah thought the house was starting to empty. Kids were graduating, moving out, building their own lives. But now? Three of the four are back under one roof, and life looks very different than they imagined.

From shared meals and grocery bills to rethinking roles and expectations, they talk about the joy, challenges, and surprises of parenting adult kids at home. Along the way, they open up about midlife shifts, faith that keeps evolving, supporting aging parents, and finding meaning in this second half of life together.

Even though this isn’t the season they pictured, it’s become a blessing, a chance to enjoy each other in a new way and to see family life from a fresh perspective.

With honesty, humor, and gratitude, Justin and Sarah share what’s working, what they’re still figuring out, and why even the messy parts can feel like a gift.

This is a conversation full of laughter, perspective, and reminders that you don’t need to have it all figured out to enjoy the chapter you’re in.

Takeaways & Talking Points

The Return Home
Why three of their four kids are back under one roof,  and what it means to parent adults with more trust, more respect, and more room to grow

The Dinner Table Shift
Sarah’s reflections on decades of family meals,  and how food is more than fuel, it’s connection (even when the planning gets old)

New Rhythms at Home
How expectations change when everyone’s grown,  and why communication, shared space, and humor matter more than rules

Second Half of Life
How parenting, marriage, and faith feel different in midlife,  and why it’s less about answers and more about staying curious together

Full Circle Moments
Celebrating Jackson coaching, Mackenzie and Quinn working in schools, and Ava carving her own path,  and how it feels to watch your kids thrive in their own ways

Parenting While Parenting Up
Learning how to walk alongside aging parents with empathy, respect, and responsibility,  while also holding space for their kids’ growth

Legacy & Letting Go
Why this season is about asking better questions, practicing gratitude, and remembering that love expands as roles evolve

Things We’re Learning (and Unlearning)

• Parenting doesn’t stop, it transforms

• Everyday chores and routines can be chances for connection

• A full house can be noisy and busy,  and still a blessing

• The “second half of life” is less about control and more about curiosity

• Gratitude makes room for growth,  even in seasons of transition

Stats Worth Knowing

• 1 in 3 young adults in the U.S. live at home with their parents

• 65% of families report tension over chores, money, or shared space

• 74% of adult kids say they want emotional support, not advice

• More than 50% of midlife adults balance care for both kids and aging parents

• The average parent spends over 30 years cooking family meals

This one’s for anyone walking through the launch years, welcoming kids back, or navigating the shifting seasons of family and faith.

You’re not alone. And you’re not behind. You’re living the story,  and there’s joy to be found right where you are.

#ParentingAdultChildren, #FamilyLife, #RunningAhrensPodcast, #MarriageAndParenting, #LifeInTransition, #HonestConversations, #EmptyNestAndBeyond, #SecondHalfOfLife, #FamilyDynamics, #ParentingUp, #GratitudeInTheMess

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Full Speed, Full Volume, Full Heart. Quinn Speaks Up.

EP. 11

In this sibling spotlight episode of Running Ahrens, we sit down with our third child, Quinn, a national champion, a natural leader, and a 200% energy kind of guy. From being the tallest kid in school to learning when to slow down (literally), this conversation is fast-paced, funny, and full of heart.

We talk about what it was like growing up Ahrens-style: full schedules, loud houses, big feelings, and sometimes, misunderstandings. Quinn reflects on his sports highs and heartbreaking injury, what it felt like not to be believed, and how his confidence evolved through speech struggles and being the “middle kid.” He also spills some secrets, names the best sibling drama moment, and shares how he’s navigating what’s next.

It’s a story about movement, resilience, and identity, and why home still matters even when you’re grown.

Takeaways & Talking Points:

• The challenge of being tall, loud, and underestimated

• Early speech issues and how they shaped his confidence

• The ups and downs of sports, from glory to injury

• Real talk about parenting, from sports sidelines to the living room

• Sibling chaos, secrets, and growing up in the middle

• Letting go of what defined you and figuring out who you are now

Things We’re Learning (and Unlearning):

• Kids don’t always feel heard, even when they’re loud

• Being competitive doesn’t mean you don’t have fears

• Trusting your kids’ pain and letting them grieve matters

• Middle children are often watching more than you know

• Coming home as an adult can bring both comfort and clarity

Stats Worth Knowing:

• Middle children often develop stronger conflict resolution and leadership skills than their siblings (Journal of Personality)

• 70% of kids quit sports by age 13, burnout and pressure are top reasons (Aspen Institute Project Play)

• Over 33% of youth athletes experience injuries that change their trajectory (AAP)

• Gen Z is the most values-driven generation yet, 67% say they define success more by meaning than money (Pew Research)

This episode is for anyone navigating the messy middle, whether it’s in the birth order, in recovery, or in the journey of figuring out who you really are.

#RunningAhrens #SiblingStories #CrazySportsParents #MiddleChildEnergy #FullHeartLiving #ParentingReflection #GenZVoices

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25 Years, 1 Business, and a Whole Lot of Life, Our Story of Building Rule29 Together

EP. 10

In this special episode of Running Ahrens, Justin and Sarah open up about the wild, wonderful, and sometimes chaotic story of building a business and a marriage, together.

From the early days of paychecks that didn’t always cash to growing a nationally recognized creative agency out of their unfinished basement, they share what it really looked like to raise a family, run a business, and somehow stay married through all of it. With honesty, humor, and a few deeply relatable moments, they reflect on everything from business pivots and burnout to parenting, power struggles, and even employee work attire standards.

It’s the kind of conversation you’ll laugh through, nod along with, and maybe even feel a little less alone after hearing.

Takeaways & Talking Points:

Starting Something With Nothing
The (un)romantic truth about launching Rule29 while pregnant, broke, and living with family

Paychecks, Pivots & The Basement Office
How Sarah took over the books, Justin rebuilt the business from scratch, and their unfinished basement became the birthplace of a creative agency

Rules We Made for Each Other
Why they signed a literal contract before rebuilding the business, and what it taught them about boundaries, expectations, and shared goals

When Everything Changed
Business challenges, financial pressures, and the hard decisions that shaped their next chapter

The Collaboration Contract
Learning to divide responsibilities (and not kill each other), grow a team, and raise four kids while running the show

The Exit That Hurt
Why Sarah ultimately stepped away from Rule29, what it cost them, and how it made space for her to step into her own story

Love, Regret & What They’d Do Differently
The honest truth about ego, burnout, creativity, and how they’d build something together now, if they ever did it again

Things We’re Learning (and Unlearning)

• You can love someone deeply and still feel unseen in the business you built together

• Contracts aren’t just for clients, they can save your marriage

• There’s no such thing as “enough” for a driven creative… unless you define it together

• Even the best partnerships have seasons of resentment, reinvention, and release

• Sometimes, letting go is the bravest (and kindest) move you can make

Stats Worth Knowing

• Only 3% of businesses make it 25 years

• 60% of married co-founders eventually part ways professionally

• 75% of couples in business together admit they argue over who does what

• 45+ interns and countless team members have launched careers through Rule29

• 1 contract, 4 babies, and two rebuilt careers later… the story continues

This one’s for anyone who's ever tried to build something without losing everything else. For the dreamers, the doers, the co-founders, and the couples working side by side (or trying to).

You’re not alone. And you’re not crazy. This is what building something real looks like.

#CreativeCouples, #BuildingTogether, #BusinessAndMarriage, #RunningAhrensPodcast, #Rule29OriginStory, #BehindTheBusiness, #WomenInBusiness, #FamilyAndEntrepreneurship, #HardConversations, #RebuildingTogether, #MarriageAndWork, #PartnershipInBusiness, #DesignLife, #CreativeLeadership

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Becoming Who You Were Meant to Be — Kelly’s Journey Through Grief and Growth

EP. 09

In this powerful and deeply personal episode of Running Ahrens, Justin and Sarah welcome longtime friend, artist, and former Rule29 teammate, Kelly Allison. What follows is an honest, raw, and surprisingly hope-filled conversation about growing up in a rigid world, surviving the unraveling of a marriage, discovering love again, and losing it just as life was finally opening back up.

From singing in a college ska band to building a photography business from the ground up, Kelly’s story is anything but linear. She talks openly about financial abuse, parenting through grief, raising a non-binary child in an evangelical family, and what it means to rebuild when your whole world goes silent.

👆Some of Kelly’s Life and Work

Whether you’ve had to start over, draw painful boundaries, or just needed to remember you’re not alone, this one’s for you.

Takeaways & Talking Points

When the Picture Breaks: What happens when the marriage, motherhood, and life you thought you’d have falls apart—and how Kelly found herself through the cracks

From Ska to Studio: The creative journey from band life to building a thriving photography business with no roadmap, just vision, grit, and a whole lot of LinkedIn Learning.

Financial Abuse Isn’t Just About Money: How control, isolation, and loss of self can hide in plain sight, and what it takes to reclaim your voice

Parenting Through Grief: Raising kids (and choosing to raise one who isn’t biologically yours) while mourning the love of your life

Chosen Family & Queer Identity: Why Kelly calls her daughter “her everything,” and how she’s had to fight for her family in more ways than one

Faith, Boundaries & Estrangement: The cost of being fully yourself when your faith community, or family, won’t see you, and why she still leads with love

The Art of Becoming: Creativity as survival, healing, and resurrection—and why Kelly says she’s not done growing, even in the dark

Things We’re Learning (and Unlearning)

• Boundaries are love in action, even when others don’t see it

• You can start over at any age, in any circumstance

• Losing someone doesn’t erase their impact, or your right to grieve

• The families we choose often love us better than the ones we were born into

• Being a “big feeling” person is a gift, not a flaw

Stats Worth Knowing

• 1 in 5 women experience financial abuse in a relationship (NNEDV)

• Sudden cardiac arrest is the #1 natural cause of death in the U.S. (AHA)

• LGBTQ+ youth who have affirming families report significantly lower rates of depression and suicide (The Trevor Project)

• 7 in 10 Americans say they’ve had to set a boundary with family in adulthood (Pew Research)

This is one of those episodes that stays with you. Kelly shows us what it means to hold grief and growth in the same hands, and reminds us that even in the unraveling, we are still becoming.

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Baby of the Family, Boss of the Moment: Ava Takes the Mic

EP. 08

In this first-ever “kid interview” episode of Running Ahrens, Justin and Sarah flip the script and invite their youngest, Ava, into the hot seat. What follows is an honest, hilarious, and unexpectedly profound conversation about growing up in a loud, passionate, and sometimes chaotic family.

From sibling drama and sports parent confessions to the unspoken perks (and pitfalls) of being the “baby” of four, Ava holds nothing back. She calls out family myths, shares what it’s really like surviving Ahrens-level energy, and gives us a glimpse into how she’s turning her story into her own arena.

Whether you’re the youngest in your family, raising one, or just trying to parent through the messiness of business, life, and love, this episode is a celebration of personality, laughter, and what it takes to keep showing up for each other.

Takeaways & Talking Points

• The Youngest’s POV: What it’s really like to grow up last in line, and why “overlooked” isn’t in Ava’s vocabulary

• Thick Skin, Big Laughs: How family banter, sibling alliances, and the occasional “Snapchat roast” shaped Ava’s confidence and independence

• When Parenting Gets a Rewrite: Justin and Sarah on how their approach changed by round four—looser reins, new boundaries, and why each kid gets a different version of you

• Rules, Rebellion & Real Talk: From cutting her own hair to breaking screen-time curfew, Ava spills on how family rules evolved—and which ones she actually followed

• The Real Group Chat: A peek inside the secret sibling group texts (and what parents really want to know)

• Unlearning and Evolving: Why parenting “by the book” went out the window, and what Sarah and Justin would do all over again

Things We’re Learning (and Unlearning)

• There’s no such thing as “fair”, just what each kid needs

• Your last child teaches you as much as your first, if you’re willing to listen

• Letting go isn’t giving up; it’s making space for growth

• Family drama can be fuel for deeper connection

• The stories we tell ourselves as parents aren’t always the stories our kids are living

Stats Worth Knowing

• Only 3% of US families have four or more kids; youngest children are more likely to be independent, outspoken, and resistant to being overlooked (Pew Research)

• Enneagram 8s make up about 15% of the population, and often show up as early leaders (Enneagram Institute)

• 74% of adult children want emotional support from parents, not advice (American Psychological Association)

Also introducing the newest Ahrens podcaster - check out Ava's Arena!

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Choosing Love, Even When the World Says No: Jeff & Ed’s Story

EP. 07

Love, laughter, and legal loopholes, today, we sit down with Jeff and Ed, a couple who have not only weathered the storms of marriage, but also navigated the wild, often heartbreaking, landscape of LGBTQ+ rights in America. Their story is filled with joy, hard-earned wisdom, and more kindness than we could ever put into words.

We know that everyone’s story and background are different, and some of our listeners might find this episode stretches them in new ways. That’s okay, in fact, we think that’s what makes conversations like this matter. Our hope is that you’ll listen with curiosity and kindness, and maybe, like us, be inspired by the love, resilience, and community at the heart of Jeff and Ed’s story.

From meeting in a crowded bar and building a life together, to having their marriage recognized, annulled, and finally re-recognized, Jeff and Ed share what it really means to choose each other, again and again, even when the law, family, or culture seems to push back. If you’re looking for hope, humor, and a reminder that every relationship, no matter how it’s defined, deserves celebration, this one’s for you.

Takeaways

• How love outlasts legality: What Jeff and Ed’s journey through marriage recognition (and annulment) taught them about resilience and hope.

• Choosing each other, daily: Why building a lasting partnership is more about small, everyday choices than any one big moment.

• Laughter as medicine: The power of joy, even when life (or the law) gets heavy.

• The meaning of “chosen family”: How community can carry us through when family or culture doesn’t understand.

• Showing up, even in hard seasons: Lessons on supporting a partner through health struggles, grief, and the unexpected.

Things We’re Learning (and Unlearning)

• There’s no single “right way” to build a family, love makes its own rules.

• You don’t have to agree on everything to show up for each other.

• True belonging sometimes comes from the people you choose, not just the ones you’re born to.

• Legal recognition matters, but so does everyday kindness, laughter, and grit.

• Relationship milestones aren’t always predictable, and that’s okay.

• It’s possible to both grieve what’s lost and celebrate what’s still possible.

Stats Worth Knowing

• LGBTQ+ marriage rights: Same-sex marriage became legal nationwide in the U.S. in 2015 (Obergefell v. Hodges). Before that, couples like Jeff and Ed often faced years of legal uncertainty, annulments, and state-by-state recognition.

• Family support matters: LGBTQ+ individuals who feel supported by family or chosen family have significantly higher mental and physical health outcomes (Human Rights Campaign).

• Chosen family is common: Over 39% of LGBTQ+ adults say they rely on “chosen family” for primary support, compared to just 9% of non-LGBTQ+ adults (Pew Research Center).

• Resilience in relationships: Couples who experience adversity together (legal, health, or social) report deeper connection and greater long-term satisfaction than those who don’t face such hurdles (Journal of Marriage and Family Therapy).

Ready to be inspired by a love story that’s both extraordinary and deeply human? Hit play and join the conversation.

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From Sidelines to Self-Awareness: Our Story as Recovering Crazy Sports Parents

EP. 06

We’ve sat on a lot of sidelines. Cheered hard. Sometimes way too hard.

And over the years, we’ve had to confront a humbling truth: we were those sports parents, overinvested, overly intense, and sometimes missing the point.

In this episode, we get real about how our own athletic backgrounds shaped the way we showed up for our kids, sometimes in ways we’re proud of, and sometimes in ways we regret. From missed game-winning shots and sideline outbursts to the painful postgame car rides, we’re looking back with open hands and open hearts. This is a story of unlearning, apologizing, and doing better.

Whether you're in the thick of travel sports, wondering how much is too much, or just trying to raise decent humans without losing your mind at the refs, this one’s for you. Because cheering from the sidelines is a gift, but learning when to sit down and just be there? That’s growth.

Takeaways:

• Let your kids set the pace of their sports journey.

• When in doubt, cheer louder and critique less.

• Don’t let your unfulfilled dreams hijack their experience.

• Love them through the game—not because of it.

• Reflect and repair when you get it wrong (because we all do).

Things We’re Learning (and Unlearning):

• Kids don’t need us to be their coach. They need us to be their safe place.

• Your child’s success isn’t a reflection of your worth.

• Effort > outcome. Celebrate the character, not the stat line.

• Pushing too hard often pushes them away.

• The ride home after a game should be about connection, not correction.

• Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do? Just show up, clap, and let them lead.
  
  Resources Mentioned & Recommended:

  • 📘 Project Play / Aspen Institute – Youth sports insights and data for parents

  • 📘 Changing the Game Project – Supportive parenting and coaching in sports

  • 📽️ “The Ride Home” – TrueSport Video – The power of the post-game conversation

  • 📘 National Alliance for Youth Sports – Guides and tips for sports parents

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From South Africa to Here: Love Tested, Love Renewed

EP. 05

Marriage and Business Don’t End; They Evolve.

Most people think a thriving marriage and business partnership just needs hard work and luck. But for Martin and Heila Rowen, the real magic and challenge was learning to stay together when everything felt like it was falling apart.

In this heartfelt episode, Justin and Sarah sit down with the Rowens to talk about the journey from young love in South Africa to raising kids, moving continents, and building a life in the US, together. Martin and Heila share how they navigated the early years of entrepreneurship, the strains of building something new, and the deep rift that nearly ended it all.

From almost calling it quits to finding a new kind of love, they share raw and honest stories of what it means to rebuild without losing each other. They talk about what they’ve had to unlearn about success and marriage, how faith and therapy played a role, and how they’re still learning to check in and truly hear one another.

Whether you’re juggling work and family, building something new, or feeling the distance in your own relationship, this episode is a powerful reminder: it’s not about avoiding the hard stuff; it’s about moving through it, together.

Takeaways:

• The power of checking in before it’s too late

• Why the provider mindset can mask disconnection

• How therapy and vulnerability can transform a marriage

• The freedom of seeing work as just one of life’s adventures, not the whole story

• The quiet relief of knowing you’re not alone in the struggle

Things We’re Learning (and Unlearning):

• 31% of couples in business together cite emotional burnout and role confusion as the biggest threats to their relationship.

• Couples who attend marriage counseling see a 70–80% improvement in relationship satisfaction.

• Even the strongest partnerships need regular gut checks and the courage to say, “Something’s not right.”
  
  👉 Book Martin mentioned: Fierce Conversations by Susan Scott — Read it here
  👉 Curious about the Enneagram? The Enneagram Institute’s free resources and descriptions
  👉 Here’s a great article on how to support your marriage when you’re also building a business: Read the article

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Parenting in the Launch Years

EP. 04

Parenting doesn’t end—it transforms.

Most parenting advice ends at high school graduation, but the launch years? That’s when the real shift begins. In this heartfelt episode, Justin and Sarah Ahrens reflect on celebrating their son’s college graduation and dive into the complex, often unspoken world of parenting adult children.

From learning to mentor instead of manage, to navigating the return of grown kids to the family home, they share honest stories about what it means to let go without losing connection. They explore how their business and leadership experiences have shaped their parenting, what they've had to unlearn, and how they're still evolving alongside their four kids.

Whether you’re in the thick of transition, bracing for an empty nest, or figuring out how to stay close without crowding your kids, this episode offers practical insights, real laughter, and a reminder that it’s okay not to have it all figured out.

Takeaways:

• How to parent adult kids with presence, not pressure

• When to step back—and when to lovingly step in

• Why leadership traits like adaptability and vulnerability matter in parenting

• What legacy really means when your kids are grown

• The joy (and chaos) of welcoming adult children back home

Things We’re Learning (and Unlearning):

• 74% of adult children want emotional support, not advice.

• Respecting autonomy builds stronger long-term relationships.

• The brain doesn’t fully develop until around 25 — so yes, that explains a lot.😉
  👉 Here’s a great article on brain development if you're curious.

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Marriage or Business: Which Is Harder?

EP. 03

Justin and Sarah have been partners in business and life for over three decades. They started a creative agency while starting a family—and over the years, they’ve experienced the highs, lows, and in-betweens of running both a household and a company together.

In this honest, funny, and sometimes raw conversation, they unpack the emotional weight of ambition, the unspoken expectations that come with traditional gender roles, and what it takes to stay on the same team when your dreams—and your stress levels—aren’t always aligned. Whether you’re building a business, raising kids, or doing both, this episode delivers some much-needed real talk and encouragement.

Takeaways:

• The early years of building a company while raising babies

• Unspoken resentment, invisible labor, and how they addressed both

• The “SWOT meeting” that changed how they communicate

• Why staying curious about your partner might be the key to staying close

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Different Worlds, One Marriage: How Our Upbringings Shaped Us

EP. 02

Justin and Sarah grew up in two completely different worlds—one marked by constant change, single-parent homes, and loud, expressive family dynamics; the other, rooted in perceived stability, structure, and quiet expectations. In this episode, they share how their unique family backgrounds shaped everything from communication and conflict to holidays, parenting, and emotional growth.

With humor and honesty, they reflect on the early days of marriage—what they didn’t know, what they had to unlearn, and how they’ve grown through the tension of opposites. If you’ve ever wondered how your past impacts your present relationships (or what it’s like to marry into a totally different kind of family), this one’s for you.

Takeaways:

• How calling your dad instead of your spouse can cause real tension

• Why early marriage fights aren’t always about what you think

• Navigating holidays with two very different expectations

• Why understanding where your partner comes from changes everything

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Meet the Ahrens: Why We’re Doing This

EP. 01

In this short kickoff, Justin and Sarah Ahrens introduce Running Ahrens, a show about the messy, beautiful reality of building a life together. With over 30 years of marriage, four kids, and decades of running businesses side-by-side, they’re pulling back the curtain on what it really takes to navigate work, love, and family without losing your mind (or each other).
Whether you're raising kids, launching something big, or simply craving real conversations, this teaser sets the tone. Spoiler: there's laughter, a little fear, and one seriously good reason why it’s called Running Ahrens.

Takeaways:

• Why Justin and Sarah started the show

• What listeners can expect (honest convos, real stories, practical insights)

• Why “Running Ahrens” is about more than errands

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