Ep 5: Grateful for the Rowans: A Story of Love, Resilience, and Starting Again

Some stories stay with you. Not because they’re perfect, but because they’re true. That’s how we feel about our friends, Martin and Heila Rowan.

We’ve known the Rowans for years, but sitting down with them to record this episode of Running Ahrens reminded us how deeply meaningful it is to witness someone else’s journey, especially when they’re brave enough to tell it honestly.

Martin and Heila moved to the United States with five suitcases, a five-month-old baby, and five hundred dollars. They were young, in love, and determined to build a better life. And they did. They raised two incredible daughters. They started a successful business. They carved out a life with grit, generosity, and a beautiful sense of adventure.

But like so many of us who try to balance ambition, love, and family, their story wasn’t without struggle.

Behind the success was stress. Behind the smiles, a growing distance. There came a point where things didn’t just feel off, they nearly fell apart. And in one of the most powerful moments of our conversation, they shared what it took to face the truth, to choose vulnerability, and to fight their way back to each other.

It would’ve been easier to walk away. But they stayed. They did the hard work. They rebuilt, not just their marriage, but their friendship, their connection, and their faith.

We’re so grateful to know them. And we’re so honored they trusted us enough to share their story.

A Few Takeaways That Hit Home:

• It’s easy to confuse providing with presence. Martin talked about how his role as a provider became a shield, something he used to justify long hours, emotional distance, and decisions made alone. It wasn’t until things broke open that he realized his family didn’t just need his income, they needed him.

• Unspoken hurt becomes separation. Heila shared how years of silence and emotional suppression built up into resentment, loneliness, and a breaking point. Her honesty reminded us that pain unspoken doesn’t disappear, it grows.

• Your partner is not your business partner — unless they are. And even then, communication, clarity, and humility matter. Just because you're building something together doesn’t mean you're building it the same way. The Rowans had to learn how to collaborate without one person dominating the vision or voice.

• Redemption is possible. Through therapy, hard conversations, and faith, they came back stronger. Not perfect, but more connected. More honest. More present.

If You’re Struggling…

First, know this: you’re not alone.

Whether you’re running a business, a household, or just trying to keep your relationship from going off the rails — these stories matter. They remind us that even the strongest couples hit breaking points. That success and love don’t always go hand-in-hand. That asking for help isn’t weakness, it’s wisdom.

If something in this episode stirred something in you, let it. Let it be the sign to check in with your spouse. To schedule that therapy session. To take the walk and have the conversation you’ve been avoiding. To speak what’s been buried.

Marriage isn’t about perfection. It’s about presence. It’s about growing. And sometimes, it’s about starting again, even with someone you’ve known forever.

To Martin and Heila, thank you for your courage, your faith, and your love. Your story reminds us that redemption is real. And we’re better for knowing you.

Here’s to building better — together!

Justin & Sarah

Be Generous With Your Scars

I was sitting with my friend Mike O'Reilly the other day when he shared a quote that really struck a chord: “The more you learn, the more you share.”

In that moment, I felt a surge of understanding. Mike went on to recommend a book by Scott Mann, Nobody Is Coming to Save You: A Green Beret’s Guide to Getting Big Sht Done*, where the idea of being “generous with your scars” resonated deeply with me. It’s the idea that the hardest moments in our lives shouldn’t be hidden away or glossed over. Instead, they can be transformed into lessons that uplift and guide others.

This philosophy is at the heart of why Sarah and I started the 'Running Ahrens' podcast. We’ve never pretended to have all the answers, and we’re not claiming to be experts. What we do have is our lived experience, our journey as a couple balancing marriage, parenting, business, family, relationships, and community, with all the ups and downs, the laughter, and the heartbreaks that come with it. We know that behind every “perfect” photo or story is a messy, beautiful reality that often goes unseen.

When we decided to start the podcast, we didn’t do it just to talk about ourselves. We wanted to create a space where we could be honest, share what we’re learning, and invite others to do the same. We believe that by being generous with our scars, by sharing the lessons we’ve learned from the challenges and the joys alike, we can help others feel less alone and more equipped to face their own journeys.

Because ultimately, the best part of life is running it together, walking alongside each other, sharing what we know, and learning as we go. If this resonates with you, if you believe in the power of sharing your story and learning from the stories of others, we’d love for you to join us on the 'Running Ahrens' podcast. Let’s keep learning, sharing, and growing, together.

Ep 4: The Gift of This Stage: Parenting in the Launch Year

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about how grateful I am to be right here, right now—parenting four incredible kids who are all in the launch years of their lives.

Some are in college, some are figuring out their first jobs, and all of them are, in their own ways, growing into the adults they’re meant to be. And in the process, I’m realizing that Justin and I are growing, too.

This stage of parenting is complex. It’s full of laughter and laundry, of quiet pride and quiet fears. It’s the art of learning to let go without letting go of connection. And it’s also, sometimes to my surprise, full of deep gratitude.

Key Learnings:

• 74% of adult children want emotional support, not advice. This reminds me to listen more than I speak and to trust that they’re capable of figuring things out.

• Respecting their autonomy isn’t just kind, it’s what builds stronger long-term relationships.

• The brain doesn’t fully develop until around 25, so yes, that explains a lot, and it gives me patience. 😉

Parenting doesn’t end, it transforms. And in this season, I’m learning that transformation is a two-way street. As our kids discover who they are, we’re discovering new versions of ourselves, too. We’re learning to be mentors instead of managers, companions instead of controllers. We’re learning to hold space for their choices and to find joy in simply being present.

Takeaways for Anyone in This Season:

• Show up with presence, not pressure.

• Let your kids see your vulnerability—it’s not weakness; it’s an invitation for them to be real, too.

• Remember: it’s okay not to have it all figured out. Your presence is enough.

• Celebrate the small, silly moments (like six adults sharing one laundry room!) as much as the big milestones.

• Most importantly, love them without condition and trust that they’re on their own journey.

This stage—parenting adult kids—isn’t always easy. But today, I’m choosing to see it for what it is: a gift. And I’m so grateful to be in it.

💛,
Sarah

The Evolving Gift of Friendship

Friendship is one of life’s most precious gifts. Some friends walk with us through decades, while others join us for just a chapter or two. Both types hold value, and each brings its own unique beauty. It’s rare and remarkable to have friends who know your past and love you not because of it, but in spite of it. They’ve witnessed your growth, your setbacks, and your comebacks and they’ve stayed. That kind of shared history is a quiet kind of power.

Then there are the friends who come into your life in later seasons. Maybe during the chaos of raising kids, the endless string of soccer games and school pick-ups, or now, in the quieter space that follows. These friends meet you where you are. They help you notice and appreciate the moment you’re living, right as you’re living it.

As a married couple, friendship takes on even more layers. Women’s friendships tend to run deep. They are often anchored in emotion, empathy, and the unspoken understanding that you don’t have to fix anything to be a safe place. I’ve had a friend since first grade who’s still in my life. When I was transitioning out of Rule29 and trying to figure out what was next, we sat down to talk. After knowing each other for 45 years, we realized we barely knew what the other did professionally. That’s not where our friendship lived. It lived in the more human places of our hearts, our doubts, our hopes.

Still, in that moment, she connected me to my next job. Not because of what we talked about for years, but because she knew me. It wasn’t about networking. It was about relationship. That connection shifted something for me. It reminded me that different styles of friendship, whether rooted in shared activity or quiet understanding, each have something to teach us.

Men’s friendships, at least in our experience, are often built around shared experiences-work, sports, common interests. But if you’re lucky, as a couple, you find other couples who blend it all. People who know your stories, your kids, and your quirks. People who will sit with you when things fall apart and cheer with you when they come together.

That’s where we are now. I have friends I’d call family, and so does Justin. We have couple friends who make us better individually and together. Friends who love our kids, ask about them by name, and root for them just as hard as we do. That’s a joy I don’t take lightly.

Looking back on all the friends who’ve been part of my life, those still near and those who were just for a time,I feel overwhelming gratitude. And honestly? Excitement. Because I don’t think we’re done creating friendships. Each one, past or present, adds something vibrant to the picture. And I know the best ones always show up just when you need them most.

Thanks for reading and sharing this space with us. Here’s to the friends who stay for a season, a lifetime, and everything in between.

– Sarah

Why We Started Running Ahrens: Honest Reflections on Life and Partnership

When we started “Running Ahrens,” I’ll admit, I felt a twinge of fear. Putting our lives out there-our stories, our experiences, our messy middle, was daunting.

It’s incredibly intimidating to put yourself out into the social media landscape, where every word and moment can be critiqued. I’ve never seen myself as an expert, just someone who’s lived through a lot of the real, unfiltered parts of life. And let’s be honest, there’s always a messy middle, because we’re never truly done growing or figuring things out.

But that vulnerability? It scared me. Yet, I felt a strong pull to share our journey, not because I have all the answers, but because I know the value of hearing someone else’s honest experiences. I wish I’d had someone to tell me these things, to share their stories when I was navigating those uncertain spaces.

One of my favorite things about Justin is how much he’s made me laugh over the years, and the stories we have to tell are often a mix of embarrassing and really fun moments. By sharing our failures with the wisdom of hindsight, we hope to normalize those scary spaces, the questions, and the fears. We want to foster a community where we celebrate each other’s successes as much as we acknowledge our struggles. Because in the end, it’s all about growing together and supporting one another through every chapter of life.

So thank you for being here — for listening, reading, and sharing in these stories with us. We’re so grateful for this space to be real, to laugh, to stumble, and to keep going together. Here’s to the journey ahead, and the grace to grow through it all.

– Sarah

Ep 3: Some Lessons from 31 Years of Marriage and Business

31 years. That’s how long Sarah and I have been figuring out how to build a life together—raising four kids, starting businesses, navigating the beautiful messiness of real life. Some days, we feel like we’re just getting started.

We’ve learned a lot. But if there’s one thing that stands out, it’s this: It’s not about never falling—it’s about learning how to fall together, get back up, and keep running.

Early on, we didn’t know what we didn’t know. We were young, broke, and didn’t have a roadmap. But we had each other, and the belief that we could figure it out as a team.

Today, 31 years later, we’re still learning.
We’re learning that respect and trust are the roots that keep everything steady.
That laughter is a lifeline.
That what matters isn’t how polished your story looks, it’s how you show up, especially when it’s messy.

Here’s what I’m taking with me:

✅ Team thinking matters. The biggest storms we’ve faced? We got through them by leaning into “we” instead of “me.”
✅ Check-ins are everything. Our yearly weekend away has saved us more times than we can count. It’s not magic—it’s showing up, listening, and naming the hard stuff.
✅ Change starts with you. The most powerful shifts in our marriage have come when I stopped trying to fix Sarah—and started looking at myself.
✅ There’s always room for laughter. Even when it’s hard. Maybe especially then.

We’re sharing this not because we have it all figured out—but because we believe there’s power in honest conversations. In sharing what we’ve learned, so others know they’re not alone.

So if you’re in the thick of building something—be it a marriage, a business, or just your own life, I hope this encourages you to keep going. To keep showing up, even when you’re not sure how.

Because it’s not about being perfect.
It’s about staying in it.
Together.

Let’s keep running,

Justin

Building Running Ahrens: Stories of Learning, Laughter, and Legacy

We didn’t start Running Ahrens because we had it all figured out. We started it because we didn’t.

After more than 30 years of marriage, four kids, a few businesses, countless failures, some really beautiful wins, and an ongoing effort to be decent humans, we realized we had some stories to tell. Not because they’re perfect stories, but because they’re real ones.

For over 20 years, we did nearly everything together—raising kids, building a life, and running Rule29. But a few years ago, we entered a new chapter. Justin continued with Rule29, and Sarah stepped into new roles outside of it. For the first time in decades, we weren’t creating something together professionally and we missed it.

That’s part of why we started Running Ahrens. We wanted to make space for something we could build side by side again.

We also created it because this is the kind of content we would’ve loved to hear years ago. When we were navigating early marriage, launching a business with a newborn at home, and learning, usually the hard way, how to hold onto each other through the chaos.

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This isn’t a show about being experts. We’re not. But we are experienced and we’re willing to talk about what went well and what absolutely didn’t.

What we’re trying to do here is create something meaningful:

• Something that makes you laugh and think.

• Something that gives you a little courage to have those hard conversations.

• Something that reminds you you’re not the only one figuring it out as you go.

We want Running Ahrens to be a safe and comfortable space to explore hard topics without judgment, just openness. We want to have the kinds of conversations that stretch you, encourage you, and make you feel seen.

That means interviews with people who’ve mentored us, inspired us, challenged us, and made us laugh until we cried. It means sharing the ideas, books, and stories that have changed the way we live and love. It means showing up as ourselves, different in so many ways, but deeply committed to the life we’ve built together.

This podcast is for anyone trying to stay in it for the long game. Whether that’s in marriage, parenting, faith, business, or just becoming more of who you’re meant to be.

We’re glad you’re here. Let’s keep running.

—Justin & Sarah