Life Is a Road Trip: Choosing How We Spend Our Time

Time doesn’t just pass, it’s spent. And like a road trip, how we spend it is less about speed and more about what (and who) fills the miles.

For us, cars have always been one of the best classrooms. Long drives to college drop-offs, family vacations, or even Sunday errands have created space for conversations we might never have had otherwise. On one of those drives, taking Ava back to school, we decided to hit record. That’s how Episode 14, Road Trip Q&A: Talking Life on the Way Home, came to be.

We’re now 14 episodes into Running Ahrens. Fourteen conversations about marriage, parenting, running a business, and figuring out how to keep showing up for each other. And if there’s one lesson that keeps coming up, it’s this: time only matters if we’re intentional about it.

What We’ve Learned Along the Way

✔️ Time to be. Most of us pack our days until they burst. But studies show that people who regularly create “unstructured time” report 30% lower stress levels and higher creativity. Road trips give you that naturally, the miles create margin. We’ve learned to protect that space off the road too.

✔️ Time to connect. Harvard’s 85-year study on adult development found that close relationships, not money or success, are the single strongest predictor of long-term happiness and health. That means a simple car ride with questions and laughter may be more valuable than another hour at the office.

✔️ Ask better questions. Small talk fades fast, but the right questions can spark connection that lasts long after the car ride. Psychologists call them “high-nurturance questions”, the kind that deepen bonds because they invite stories, reflection, and vulnerability.

Instead of: “How was your day?”
Try:

• For spouses:

  • “When did you feel most supported by me this week?”

  • “What’s something small that would make your life easier right now?”

  • “What’s one dream you’ve been carrying that we haven’t talked about?”

• For kids:

  • “What’s one thing that made you laugh today?”

  • “If you could design your perfect weekend, what would it look like?”

  • “What’s something you’re proud of that no one knows about?”

Neuroscience backs this up: when someone feels listened to, their brain releases oxytocin, the same “bonding hormone” triggered by physical affection. So every good question + attentive response literally rewires the brain toward trust and closeness.

✔️ Listen without fixing. Couples who practice active listening report 62% higher relationship satisfaction. Resist the urge to jump in with solutions. Sometimes the best gift is just being heard.

✔️ Make room for joy. Road trip games, silly questions, and yes, even belting out your favorite songs—are more than distractions. They create shared memories. Research shows that families who laugh together regularly have stronger resilience when life gets hard.

✔️ Detours matter. Some of the best family moments happened when we stopped somewhere unplanned, or when a wrong turn turned into a new memory. That’s true in life too—the unscheduled often shapes us most.

Why This Matters

It’s tempting to think that meaning comes from big events or carefully planned milestones. But when we look back, what stands out are the small, consistent ways we connected. Conversations in the car. Shared playlists. Roadside snacks. The questions that made us laugh—or made us pause and think.

Being purposeful with your time doesn’t mean over-scheduling. It means choosing presence. Making room to ask, to listen, to sing, to sit quietly side by side.

An Encouragement

As we celebrate 14 episodes of Running Ahrens, we’d love your feedback. Which conversations have stayed with you? What do you want more of—marriage, parenting adult kids, business, health, friendship, or something else entirely? And just for fun: what’s your favorite road trip or travel game?

Your voice helps shape what comes next.

👉 Episode 14: Road Trip Q&A: Talking Life on the Way Home

Because in the end, life isn’t about how fast you get there. It’s about who’s in the car, the questions you ask, the songs you sing, and the memories you choose to make along the way.

—Justin & Sarah