When the Nest Refills: Embracing Parenting & Midlife Flourish
When we sat down to record this episode of Running Ahrens, we didn’t expect it to hit quite so close to home, literally. A year ago, we thought our house was beginning to quiet down. Kids graduating, moving out, building their own lives. But now, three of our four are back under our roof, and it feels like a whole new chapter of parenting we never really planned for.
There are moments of laughter (and a lot of noise), a fair share of “how did we get here?” conversations, and plenty of gratitude. This isn’t the season we imagined, but it’s quickly becoming one we’re thankful for.
The Shift We Didn’t See Coming
Parenting adult children is different. It’s not about managing schedules or homework anymore. It’s about car insurance, phone bills, and navigating the blurred line between being an ATM and being a safety net. It’s making sure they feel supported while also nudging them toward independence.
And the stats back it up:
1 in 3 U.S. young adults live at home with their parents.
65% of families report tension around chores, money, or space.
74% of adult kids say they want emotional support, not advice.
We’re finding all of that to be true. Sometimes it’s funny, like Quinn still managing to lose something daily. Sometimes it’s frustrating, like dirty pans left in the sink when everyone swears they’ll “get to it later.” But beneath those small annoyances is a bigger reality: we’re learning how to set new boundaries, with our kids, with each other, and with our parents as we begin to support them more, too.
Growing Individually, Growing Together
While our kids are learning how to step into adulthood, Sarah and I are also evolving. Midlife has brought its own changes, in our faith, in our marriage, and in how we see our roles in the world.
Richard Rohr talks about the “second half of life” as a time of deconstruction and reconstruction. That resonates with us right now. We’re asking better questions. We’re less interested in control and more focused on curiosity.
Individually, we’re pursuing new passions (Sarah’s taken up golf, Justin is all-in on exploring AI). Together, we’re learning to enjoy each other in ways that aren’t tied to raising small kids or running a business side by side.
And as we reflect, we keep coming back to this truth: what we choose to do now, especially with our health, time, and relationships, is shaping whether our future selves will feel grateful or regretful.
Everyday Joys in a Full House
Yes, dinner planning after 30 years can feel exhausting. Yes, empty boxes in the fridge still make us crazy. But this season also brings small, everyday joys we don’t want to overlook:
Family dinners that turn into long conversations about the day’s wins and losses.
Watching shows together on the couch, laughing at the same ridiculous moments.
Morning coffee talks where the house feels both busy and connected.
These rhythms may not have been the plan, but they’re a gift, a chance to enjoy one another in a way we know we’ll look back on with gratitude.
Parenting While Parenting Up
There’s another shift happening, too: our parents are aging. We’re stepping in more often to support their health, transitions, and daily needs. It’s a privilege, but also a reminder, someday, our kids will be in this role for us.
That thought has made us ask hard but good questions: How do we want to prepare now? What can we learn from caring for our parents that will help our kids someday? How can we make it easier for them to walk with us in the future?
We don’t have all the answers yet. But we want to be intentional. Just as we’re guiding our kids into adulthood, we also want to guide them in how to care for us when the time comes, with honesty, openness, and love.
If You’re in This Season Too…
Here are a few things we’re learning (and unlearning) about parenting adult kids while still growing ourselves:
Support without smothering
Be available, but don’t take over. Sometimes the best thing you can do is listen without fixing.Set clear expectations
Whether it’s chores, bills, or shared space, talk openly. Don’t assume they know what you want.Celebrate progress, not perfection
Launching takes time. Some steps forward, some steps back, and that’s normal.Keep room for yourself
Your life, your marriage, and your faith are still evolving. Give each other the space to grow individually, not just as parents.Look forward with intention
How you care for your parents now shapes how your kids will someday care for you. And how you invest in your health, your habits, and your relationships today will determine whether your future self thanks you, or regrets the choices you avoided making.
The Story We’re Living
Parenting in the launch years is both harder and better than we expected. It’s frustrating at times, but it’s also deeply rewarding. We’re stretched, we’re learning, and we’re grateful.
So if you’re in this stage, whether your kids are coming home, heading out, or boomeranging between both, know that you’re not alone. It’s a lot. And it’s also a great time to be a parent.
Thanks for walking through this season with us.
With gratitude,
Justin & Sarah